Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Don't Wanna

My sweet and darling child Anna has a favortie phrase and it's "Don't Wanna". She uses it for everything...."Don't wanna go to bed, Mommy", "Don't wanna time out", "Don't wanna nap"....and although some might find this very cute, I find it rather annoying. But part of me wants to channel Anna and just say I "don't wanna".
I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna sick child. I really just don't wanna.

But here I am. I do have a sick child. I am doing my best to ‎'be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer' Romans 12:12, despite the overwhelming desire to do my best impression of Anna!

A few things about Nolen and when I describe him. When I say Nolen was more active this morning (he has since started declining back to being more unresponsive), you really need to understand our definition of active
-he opened both his eyes fully (not half lidded and not with his eyes rolled back)
-he moved his arms and lifted them (not just letting them lay)
-he had noticeable reflexes that were absent yesterday
-he made his facial expressions to give the impression of pain or discomfort
-he "cried" which means he whimpered, sighed deeply and made tiny noises
-he responded to stimulus (painful procedures or uncomfortable ones were reacted to somewhat by him opening his eyes, making small noises and grimaces)
-he sucked on his passy (despite having not been fed for over 24 hours, Nolen was not interested in sucking period until this morning when he exhibitied some desire to suck/eat)

Nolen is taking a very small amount of milk over an extended period of time through a tube in his nose. Hopefully this will bring him back to his "active" state of this morning. He is still unable to cry as you would expect a baby to, remain awake for extended periods of time (5 mins or more), fight doctors, have strong reflexes and kick his feet.

Right now, to hear a strong cry from my son would be music to my ears.


welcome to our wonderland said...

I don't want him to be sick either!

I hope he wakes up kicking, fighting and eating soon!

we are praying for him, i've gotten so many people praying for him its amazing we are here for you just say the word!