Adios NG Tube!

Nolen is gaining the bare minimum for each day (25 g or kg...which is a big difference I know, I just can't remember which and I sincerely suspect it's kg, but I'm so not sure). This is HUGE! We can take the tube out and stop the weight pre-and post feeding. I won't say the tube won't have to go back in, but I will say that for now, my sanity is just a bit more secure since I am no longer have to reinsert the tube on a near regular basis. Each week we will be doing weight checks at the med group to make sure he keeps his weight up!

Since Nolen's weight/feeding seems to be improving, we are now going to start focusing on other aspects of his condition. Nolen is still developmentally delayed (very much a newborn in most areas). The only area he appears to be on point with is socially he will engage with you and attempt to make noises (they think that part of his delay in "speech/cooing/laughing/squealing" relates to his lack of tone). With that said, here are the big plans for his care.

-Continue weight checks, but stay OFF the tube!

-See a neurologist. His Ped and the Early intervention team all feel that we should start seeing a neurologist due to the fact that there hasn't been any marked improvement in his physical tone/strength nor a large developmental milestone. We've also noticed a slight difference in the sides (left side versus right side) that would indicate possible issues neurologically. 

-Start weekly physical therapy with Early Intervention through the state. In about three months or sooner, we will reevaluate Nolen's condition and start Speech as well as Developmental Therapy. If needed we may also start Occupational Therapy. Our goals for physical therapy is to see Nolen moving or making an effort to move and for speech we hope to have him babbling.

We haven't classified Nolen as anything, or pushed for him to get into the programs offered by the military (EFMP or ECHO) to get him access to more intensive care per the advice of our Pediatrician. She cautions that once an EFMP is started it's hard to "undo" and that would be a quasi permanent label for what we foresee to be a temporary condition. She also says that Tricare should cover due to the lack of a diagnosis...so it looks like more fighting with insurance lies ahead for me!

The big D

Disabled.

Yes, I said it. That's the title that Nolen is finally wearing. While I don't want this for my child, it does allow us to hopefully get the coverage for the Nutritionist that we need, and will also open other doors for future care. We don't know if it's a permanent disability, or if it's something he could essentially "grow out of" or "recover from", but his severe delay in development, his complicated issues with eating, and his severe loss of muscle tone in his entire body has made the label inevitable.

 My son is currently disabled.

  While yesterday was spent fighting for coverage with our insurance, I'd consider today was our first real adventure into what I call the "real world of having a sick/delayed/disabled" child. Spent the entire morning at one doctors appointment with our Feeding team. The feeding team consists of a GI Doctor, Pediatrician, Speech Therapist, Nutritionist (which our insurance doesn't cover), and an Occupational/Physical Therapist. All rolled up into one nice Loooonnnggg appointment. Thankfully, Ryan was there to help with the ladies while I focused on our little man. They were happy with our progress but *insert dramatic pause* he was going to be  needing to keep the tube for much longer.
           Nolen had been doing REALLY well and having more good days where he took most of his feeds orally, and less bad days were more than 50% was through the tube. I think my heart broke (as well as my spirit momentarily) when the Nutritionist announced that he was now going to be requiring 115 MLs per feed/8x a day!!! She literally took her pen and popped that happy little bubble floating above my hopeful head. Nolen will literally be needing supplementation with EVERY feed, and over half of his nutrition will be through the tube. It's like starting back at square one for the THIRD TIME (the first being birth, where you work your butt off to get them to nurse well). Did I mention that I have to pay a crazy amount for this bubble popping specialist??
          Occupational Therapist gave us some exercises to do with our little man (about twice a day) and I will now be trying to work those in with the girls schedules. Speech Therapy got to witness Nolen "peter out" during a feed...why he can't show them how he is at his best I will never know. We will be seeing our feed team once a month now. They discussed doing one "big" feed to make up the difference between his end total and end goal, but since he would need such a large amount that isn't a viable option.

I know some of you have asked these questions in person, but I figure there are those of you out in cyber land who have the same ones so I'll try and answer them the best I can....

Why can't you just bottle feed? It's easier than breast feeding. Yes, bottle feeding is easier, and yes, you can use fast flow nipples BUT Nolen's issue isn't necessarily being a poor sucker, his issue is that he fatigues quickly. He fatigues so quickly that even with a bottle he doesn't get the right amount in the specified time frame that the doctors have set. They want him to spend no more than 20 minutes (I allow 30) working for his food. A bottle can sometimes take only 20 mins and give him a full feed, just like the breast will sometimes work for a full feed in 20 mins. BUT usually he would tucker out and STILL need supplementation. So there is not much if any of a difference in a bottle vs breast.  Also, I breastfeed because it is easy, convienant and quicker for me to do than bottle feeding (not to mention cheaper). Putting breastmilk in a bottle and then giving it to my child only to have to  pump later isn't easier and just seems illogical.

Why not supplement using formula? Or just formula feed? Good question, I usually only breastfeed for about 3 months, and I've never exclusively breastfed until Nolen. I am so not a La Leche League, extended breastfeeding, breast is best type mom (although I'm not knocking those of you who are, I'm just not that dedicated).  Nolen is having some gut issues due to the strong and intense round of antibiotics he was on. The dietitian/pediatrician/GI doc all feel that since probiotics (good bacteria found in your gut) are naturally in breastmilk as well as other protiens/compounds/whatchamacallits that encourage the growth of probiotics in your gut, that I should continue breastfeeding as long as possible. I'm not generally susceptible to the push to exclusively breastfeed, but in this case it prevents Nolen from having to have additional procedures/medicines/vitamins.

       With that said, Nolen pulled his tube out this morning before our appointment, and we are going to try a few things. He is having some skin issues due to the tape, so we are going to let him have a day off.  One last day to look normal and "play" normal before we all accept that he has now been disabled. Sometimes it's good to play pretend. Today, we are going to weigh him at the start and finish of a 24 hour period without supplementing through the tube and try to supplement him using a bottle. We haven't tried supplementing using a bottle after a feed yet, but we will see how it goes. I don't think it's going to go too well since he's usually fast asleep and uninterested in sucking at the end of a feed but he's made me eat crow before! If he doesn't take the supplementation through the bottle, I will try doing a small feed (the amount needed) in between his two feeds, that way the end amount at the end of 24 hours is the same.


Now, I'm off to fight with my insurance company again...hopefully our new status as disabled will allow them to cover the services he needs.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!

*I realize some of you are reading just to check up on Nolen, so I will seperate my blog by headings so that you can skip to Nolen's updates if you like!*
 
The girls are going to be here, at my house around 3pm tomorrow! As crazy as it sounds, I am just so pumped to have all of my family, once again under the same roof! I feel like we've spent far to much time spread across the globe/map for my liking.

I am a bit nervous about the added work load of two little people who will be needing my attention. Not to mention that we will be kick starting our Home school year.

Homeschool
I've decided to go with Horizon's Math and I think we are going to try our hand at Explode the Code for phonics/early reading. It's cheap enough that if I don't see Kaelyn liking or responding well to the system that I won't sweat the investment and can try a different program. I had originally hoped to do Calvert School, but after talking it over with Ryan I don't really NEED all the assistance (but I really WANTED to be lazy and let someone else do all the work for me) that Calvert offers but just needed help in planning Math and teaching Reading. Also, Calvert school is a larger financial investment when I'm still not sure how Kaelyn would respond to it.

Our plans for the first week are to work out our daily schedule (I have a rough idea of what it should look like, but now that I'm adding in Nolen's extra care, therapy, and doctors appointments I'm going to have to adjust accordingly) and to establish a Morning routine of Calander time.

Our Calander Time:
-Say the Pledge


-Work on the Weather/Season: (weather for Anna, Season's for Kaelyn)
-Sing the Days of the Week song (for Anna, but also to help Kaelyn be able to tell me what today is, tomorrow will be, and yesterday was)
-Sing the Month's of the Year song (complete with a dance :) because that's just how you should start your day, by dancing!)
-Work on our monthly binder where Kaelyn traces the number of the day and colors the pattern.
For example, Today is September the 25. Kaelyn would trace the number 25, and color the square on her calander pink because our pattern is White-Pink-White-Pink. I'm also considering having her count up to the date (so 1-25) to help reinforce her concept of numbers.

Normally, at breakfast I tell the girls what we have planned for the day as well as read a poem/story from our children's Bible. I am considering making a weekly calander so that Kaelyn can SEE what we have to do that day and the rest of the week. In addition to that, I would also like to make a daily schedule with times (Breakfast, School, Lunch, Nap, Dinner, Bedtime), so that she can start telling me what's next by using the clock and the schedule together.

Nolen

We had our first meeting with Early Intervention    on Thursday of this week and Nolen qualifies. That's both a praise and a bit alarming. To qualify your child must be delayed by 25% in two or more areas or 33% in one. Nolen was evaluated at Newborn or less in most areas. I think we expected it to some extent, but it was still hard to hear from someone else's mouth that your once "on track/slightly advanced 6 weeker" has regressed to being "severely delayed". I also think it was a little bit harder for me because our Pediatrician had commented how it was very difficult for babies so young to get into the program unless it was extremely severe due to the variation in what is "normal" for this age. She had cautioned me that she thought Nolen needed some therapy but NOT to expect the state to let him in until he was older. It's a praise because we have heard amazing things about this program and the therapist in it! I'm very excited to start therapy and learn new techniques to help Nolen get back his strength quickly.

   We meet with our team to start setting goals for Nolen on the 5th of October and then we will start having therapy sessions regularly after that initial meeting. In the mean time, they have given us a few tips of things to do with Nolen. The first is to encourage as much movement as possible by playing music/talking to him/moving his arms and legs/bathtime/etc. In addition to that, they also suggested using one of the gel packs (yes, like the kind you put in your lunch) underneath his head to help him be able to keep looking forward while laid on his back. That will help his head go back to a normal shape as well as encourage those muscles to strengthen. They are concerned about his hearing since he doesn't react to noises well, but there isn't much we can do for that other than wait.

 Our pediatrician has also advised us to keep both the therapist through the state Early intervention program as well as the therapist through our insurance. (I won't lie, I was secretly hoping she would say, "Oh, you qualified for the state program that will come into your house and make your life much easier than having to drive all over NJ for therapy appointments with three small children, don't worry about the insurance approved therapy!". But she didn't.) So, this next week is going to be a busy one for Nolen, he has his first appointment with Speech Therapy through CHOPS and we start the process of getting him into physical therapy through CHOPS. CHOPS aka Children's Hospital of Philadelphia generally has a 2 year waiting list, but because we went through their hospital Nolen has somehow magically bypassed that waiting list and gotten in for Speech. I'm not sure yet if he will be able to get in with physical therapy, but the referral is already written and should I encounter a long wait list, I will happily find another suitable physical therapy company to work with! He will also be meeting with his feeding team, a GI Doctor and a couple of other additional individuals on Thursday.

7 Sept Morning Update: There is an A and then there is an A

I don't know about you guys, but I am a dork. I am. I was that kid, the one blowing the curve, the one who thought that not all A's are created equal...and you know what Nolen buddy, I still think that not all A's are created equal. I want you at 97-100 Pulse Ox at all times...I don't want just any A, I want an A+.

Before his temperature drop when he was still cooling down from a fever

We are waiting on the doctor, so there aren't any new ideas about what could be causing this, and in some ways I'm secretly praying for a positive culture so that I can KNOW what's wrong and where to go next with this. Watching your child fight the unknown is not fun....fighting the known is only better because you can measure progress, treat symptoms and learn how to help.

They are trying to wean him off his Oxygen (but it does NOT look likely, thirty minutes into being down at 35% and he's already dropping to the low 90s). My sister suggested that I keep a journal of his levels for a day or more to see if I can "capture" the pattern I'm seeing happen repeatedly but the nurses and doctors keep brushing off (with good reason, they don't see it because they don't make any type of note of a O2 level less than 100, whereas I know the numbers, I watch his average drop from being the high 90s, to the mid 90s, to the low 90s and then bottom at the 80s/70s). She thinks if I can catch the pattern on paper, perhaps they will be more willing to consider that there is a pattern at all. So here I go with my excell spreadsheet...every thirty mins...now that I know what to do, I'm doing it and feel so much better.

Nolen's experienced another "personality" change he has returned to the severity of lethargy/floppiness/unresponsiveness that initiated his move to the PICU. He isn't waking to eat, so we are doing bottle feeds. He has good feeds (4 oz of breast milk) but he is experiencing shorter and shorter wake times following feeds. Here is a picture of my sweet man, enjoy

He is warming up very slowly.

Update on Nolen

So, I just heard back from the doctor. The initial culture shows NO GROWTH!!!! Which is a great indicator that this is just Viral Meningitis....which is a 100 times better than Bacterial. We won't have a 100% diagnosis until after the 2nd culture has been evaluated. From what I've been told, the second culture (48hr) is more of a precautionary measure to insure that some crazy bacteria isn't the cause as well as to take into account that there could have been very small amounts of the bacteria present due to catching it so early.

We are breathing easier...that is for sure! My sister made it safely into town and will be watching Nolen for an hour while I shower and visit with the girls. Then, she will be taking over the babysitting duties for my girls while I spend the rest of the time in the hospital with Nolen.

Nolen has been in a lot of pain (as evidenced by his high heart rate and high blood pressure readings as well as his crying/whimpering during sleep), and is very restless. Currently, the only way we have been able to keep his heart rate down near normal is through keeping skin contact (kind of like Kangaroo care) and moving him as little as possible (which means Mama isn't doing much). He is nursing more like his old self (Praise God) but not as frequently as I would like.

Anna is still running a slight fever, but other than sleeping A LOT she is acting just like her old self!

Current Prayer Requests/needs:
-48 hour culture comes back CLEAN
-Nolen's pain lessens and he is able to rest and Nurse more frequently
-Nolen's fever starts to subside
-Strength for Ryan and I.
-Guidance for Dena, my sister, as she is in a strange state (with wonky driving laws...but that's another post altogether) and a strange house where she doesn't know where anything is.

Prayers for Nolen

So, I apologize if this is a bit jumbled or brief, but whether you pray or you just want to send positive thoughts please send them this way!

This morning at 1 am, I noticed Nolen had been a little bit more difficult to settle down and kind of fussy...so when I went to nurse him I noticed how hot he was. I took his temp and found it to be borderline at 100.7. Knowing that Anna had been sick the entire day and running a fever I knew it was probably a virus and debated rather I should bring him in or not. I called the on-call doc and the doc suggested I bring him in. The hospital confirms that Anna does have a virus but that due to his age Nolen would need to undergo a Spinal Tap, Blood Work, Catheter for urine samples, and observation to verify that there wasn't another source of infection. Even then, they might still admit him for observation and antibiotics as a proactive measure.

A good friend comes and picks the girls up, leaves me in the ER with just Nolen around 4 am. Nolen's labs come back and he does in fact have Spinal meningitis. We won't know until sometime tomorrow if it is bacterial or viral. We want it to be a viral infection and hope that Nolen starts to feel better (he's very restless and fussy) over our 48 hour stay here. If it is Bacterial than this will become a whole different ballgame.

Specific Prayer Request
-A Clean Culture showing that it is Viral Meningitis
-Anna and the girls and my friends Children remain well
-Rest for Nolen, ease of his fever and discomfort
-Peace for Ryan since I know this must be very difficult not being able to touch and comfort his very sick child
-Strength to hold it together for me
-Safe travels for my sister who is coming up tomorrow morning to help with the girls and take care of the house if this does end up being bacterial meningitus.

Thanks for your prayers/well wishes.

We went to Sea, sea, sea to see what we could see see see

Ryan's squadron had family day at a local military beach out here. When the invitation went out...I thought...Who in their right mind? That would have to be some crazy woman to try and take a 5 week old, potty training 2 year old and 4 year old to the beach all by herself....and before I knew it, I had coleslaw made and was making the drive to the beach....with a very full hybrid.
I don't know what drove me to the brink of insanity...but whatever it was...Thank you! I had a wonderful Friday evening with my "military family" and they were always there to lend a hand with carrying things to the beach or taking my fearless two year old out into the ocean.

Kaelyn spent most of her time on the beach playing in the sand, but she eventually ventured out into the water (despite her overwhelming fear of sharks that has been known to have her hiding on a very large boat from the water).

And she loved it! Have I mentioned that I have a brand spanking NEW CAMERA! It's the Fuji XP FinePix. Not only am I loving the clarity and detailing of this point and shoot camera, but the REAL reason we went with this camera is that it is virtually indestructible...Want to take it scuba diving---go right ahead. Want to hike Mount Everest---this is the camera for you. Point and case, the camera went swimming in the sandy surf rescuing sweet Anna from her very sick obsession with the waves and surfs!

She was way too comfortable with the waves. She would go out as far as she could, get knocked down, tumble in the undertow and start to get carried back out....come up coughing and smiling and do it again....and again...and again. Thank you peanut shell for the awesome sling which lets me snag my child!

It was a lot of fun watching her just run head first into the face of waves that were much taller than she was. I adore this child's lack of fear and determination (only when it's not directed at me). She spent a good fifteen minutes trying to "move water"

With a shovel...

Thankfully, I had my military family to keep an eye on Kaelyn while I spent the majority of my time playing Baywatch with Anna!

Ever since I've decided to embrace every fun opportunity that comes my way regardless of my overwhelming to-do list, I have found that we are really starting to enjoy our time together despite Ryan being away. I also find that the things on those lists always end up getting done and can often serve the purpose of filling that void of time after the kids go to sleep when I would normally snuggle with the hubby.

Saying goodbye

We are faced with saying goodbye to our favorite guy fairly often around here, and I was just thinking today how we make the "Goodbye to the Combat Zone" as normal as the "Goodbye as Dad leaves for work".

Recently, Ryan left for a short trip and I found myself putting Kaelyn down for nap as usual knowing that Daddy would be leaving at 4. Instead of forgoing nap, we kept our day normal, held onto normal for as long as possible. I settled in quietly next to Ryan with a book while he reviewed regs and procedures for overseas flights on his laptop.  His mind was already on the mission. While I read, I would peek over the edge of my book and  see my husband's face, those peircing blue-green intensely focused on the mission at hand and feel his hand slowly rubbing my back while I ventured off into my world of fiction. I eventually gave into the desire for a nap, and Ryan joined me shortly afterwards.

 It was a normal afternoon, it was what we would do on any other weekend when he wasn't leaving while the girls napped, and it spoke volumes of how our "home" wasn't about to change just because it was missing one person. It was a silent promise to Ryan that I would keep things normal, regardless of what was missing... I would ignore the giant Ryan sized gap, the empty chair, always made up half of the bed, a toothbrush missing and a towel hanging long forgotten on his hook. I would keep "our" normal, and that he would come home and find his spot just where he left it.

Even though we'd love nothing more than running off together and soaking up a few last moments of family time in reckless abandon, we cling to our routine, our normal and by doing so we choose to relish the little things...the sight of our girls napping, the feeling of his hand on my back, a nap in each others arms. Those are the things you really miss, and perhaps that is why we hold so dearly to normal on a day that is anything but.

Saying goodbye is part of our lifestyle...we do it often, but it makes Hello so much sweeter.

Where in the World is Brandie???

Oh where, oh where can she be?

She could have been found at the USO Sesame Street Performance...but she's not there anymore

Or at her house making gift buckets and this cake...but she's moved on

And if you had been at the local Chuckie Cheese on the 26th of April...you would have seen her there

 With her birthday girl!

Could she be in Philly? 

Nope, she was never there, she was at home in bed sleeping!

On May 14 and 15th you could have found her at Yellowstone Park 

napping under the trees with Anna

 

or Celebrating her 24th Birthday with BooBoo Bear and the kiddos...all the kiddos!

 

and glowing with pride as both her girls caught their first fish on Princess Poles no less!

 

(Anna was all about fishing, until something actually came up on her line!)

 

(fish number two for Kaelyn, who was very tired!)

And had you been ANYWHERE near my house the night before Aunt Brittany left with Anna for California and Ryan returned from training...you would have found me playing DD for my best friends!

 

All this to say, that I am at home now, with Ryan and Kaelyn. Ryan will be leaving soon...and will be gone most of the month of June, hence the reason we decided to have Aunt Brittany take sweet Anna with her to California (could you imagine me alone with two kids on the L&D ward??? I don't think so!). We have some really big things happening in June (Kaelyn's has birthday parties out her ears, followed by a baby shower, my parents coming out, Dance Recital and the end of Swim Lessons!).  

I also owe you guys some GREAT photos of all the hard work Aunt Brittany did in our home and the baby's room! So exciting! July is just around the corner, and I usually go about 4-5 weeks early...so we might have some MAJOR announcements (like gender and a name) coming very soon! It's great to have my computer back and to finally be able to update you all! Sorry for the absence!

Wonderful Wonderful News

This is our sweet, HEALTHY, CYST FREE baby! Yes, you read that right! He/She (it's still a surprise) is not only cyst free (completely, PRAISE GOD!) but is measuring on point or a little ahead (which is the normal for my child) and weighs 2 WHOLE pounds!  I am so grateful for all the prayers and for this WONDERFUL news! I feel like I can breath, and plan for the arrival...if only I could get the Air Force to cooperate and allow some leave...

I wrote the first entry for our sweet little one in their baby diary (I try to write atleast twice a year for each of the girls) and thought it might be nice to share!

May 5, 2010

Dear Baby,


You don’t have a name, or even a pronoun, but you are more real to me than you will ever know. I sit here on the eve of “the day”…the one where we discover if your Choroid Plexus Cysts are gone, the one that will determine if I fight like a mad woman (which is so not my personality) to get the amniocentesis so that we can know what life holds for you dear one. Regardless of what tomorrow holds, know this one thing…that we love you, we love the life we’ve had thus far with you, and we can’t wait to see your sweet face, smell your sweet new baby smell and cradle you in our arms for the rest of your life.


You and your sweet beating heart have already impacted my life in ways that I had not expected. You have taught me patience, waiting for tomorrow has NOT been easy, but I’ve managed with the prayers of others, support of friends, and the joy of experiencing each day with you growing in me. I have been able to focus on the happy things, time with your father, stories with your sisters and the way you nudge me while I am reading to them…or how you will kick suddenly when Anna cries or Kaelyn talks to you. I’ve been able to float through the past four weeks enjoying each moment with you as though it were our last, and that in and of itself has been a blessing…because I haven’t taken one nudge, on kick, one stretch, one happy beat of my heart helping to grow yours for granted. I have thoroughly enjoyed having your Daddy spread his hand out against my growing belly and feel you so alive within me, hearing Kaelyn whisper sweet nothings to you, ask questions about you, and embrace the idea of you joining our little family, and watching Anna start to connect the dots that there IS a baby in mommy’s belly. Anna is so excited about babies!


You have taught me to value the small things, because God knows that we all too often get caught up in the big worries and miss out on the tiny blessings like a moving baby, the sound of your heartbeat, and the beauty of a quiet afternoon spent at the park. I’ve valued our small amount of time together and hope to keep this lesson in mind as we continue on.


You showed us the meaning of worth, value, life and perfection. Despite what the silly machine might say tomorrow, you are perfect, God made you and formed you for a reason, you have worth and value. It doesn’t matter what condition you may or may not have, I am so blessed to have you here with me and our family is overjoyed with your presence already! This is in no way a goodbye, but merely a hello from my heart to yours nestled safely within me.

Let the fun begin

Ryan has gotten word that his official papers for his waiver to return to flying status will be coming in towards the begining of next week AND he has a flight scheduled very soon! Thanks to those of you who have been praying about this for us! We really appreciate the support.

So, let the fun of deployments and quasi-single parenting begin!

Help is on it's way!

So, after discussing our options...Ryan and I are both VERY excited to FINALLY have some help coming in. My lovely sister in law, Brittany, will be joining the family for awhile to help out with the girls and the housework. She couldn't come at a better time with Ryan leaving for training at the end of this month, being gone for the month of May and returning early June. The chance of an amnio following our next ultrasound  (all in May) results...you get the idea. 

*Me, Kaelyn, and Brittany*

Can I mention that the Procardia medication for contractions is slowly killing me....yes, I know that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I've NEVER had issues with this medication in my prior pregnancies, but this time around...it's really doing a number on my blood pressure (bottoming out) causing me to be exhausted or in a fog, my heart will race, and there are moments when I truly feel on fire. On top of all that I am starting to notice my contractions about an hour prior to my pill and an hour afterwards. With Brittany here, I won't be sweating the details of who will watch my chlidren should I have to return to the hospital.

Hospital Stay

So, I guess I've finally "broken in" the new doctor and hospital with an overnight stay for contractions. Thankfully, it doesn't appear that my contractions (1 every 1-2 mins lasting 1 min+) were very productive, but they are causing some "cervical change".

Here is the run down
-The baby looked and sounded great! Although it didn't like the monitor which meant I had a nurse at my bedside repositioning me or the monitor every twenty minutes or so.
-My contractions are slowed, but not stopped. They aren't as strong and I am very comfortable, unlike earlier.
-I'm on Procardia, which normally doesn't carry any side effects for me at all, but I'm definitely feeling the sluggish/flushed/on fire aspect with this pregnancy.
-I won't be on bedrest until my cervix starts to show more significant change. Bedrest doesn't show any indication of stopping contractions but it can slow down dialation. My activities are definitely limited (no more swim lessons for the girls), no more strenuous activities (mopping and vaccumming) and no more hanky panky.


So, now we are faced, yet again, with some tough decisions. Though, I am not on bedrest, I am asked to simply asked try and "take it easy" which is hard to do with two kiddos. So, Ryan and I are considering sending Anna to stay with his family(Kaelyn was the same age when she went away to stay while I was pregnant with Anna) and keeping Kaelyn here with me.

Why keep Kaelyn?

-She's pretty much self sufficient...unlike Anna who requires lifting/carrying/changing
-She has her birthday and friends, and while I realize she's only four, these are some pretty important things to her. She's only four, and has very few important things.
-Dance Recital
-If I should have to go to the hospital while Ryan is away or at work and my friends are unavailable, Kaelyn can come with me. I can trust that she will be perfectly content at my bedside with snacks and goodies and games and movies...Anna is so not at that point.

Thanks for your prayers! Sorry for the absence...now I'm off to make a snack and watch a movie with the kiddos.

Healthcare--No this isn't about the bill.

I was just curious, since all I've ever really known is Tricare (the military healthcare), as to how healthcare issues work for everyone else out there.

Tricare is great---in that it's free and if I'm willing to fight for certian things, then I can manage to navigate the red tape, push for a referral or prescription, and get what I need done.

So...my question is, how does your healthcare work?

If you need to see the Ob, do you have to go get a positive blood test from the lab, see your primary care doctor, get them to write you a referral, call you insurance and find a list of OB's who accept your insurance, insure/inform your primary care doctor of who you want to see, and then finally call the OB to make the appointment (upon which you must bring a copy of your referral that you will get in the mail about two weeks after it's submitted?).

Or perhaps you need a medication, Do you have to call your main pharmacy and see if they can fill it (the base in my case, which couldn't) and then are directed to your insurance company, do you have to contact your insurance (who will then send you to an off shoot branch who is contracted out to deal with pharamacutical information), contact the contracted company who tells you to try Walgreens, which can't do it, then have walgreens attempt to have the contract pharmacy who directed you to Walgreens fill your prescription, get a rejection letter WITHOUT the prescription attached advising you to find a local pharamacy but never stating which one, find a pharmacy that accepts your insurance on your own, contact that pharmacy and see if they in turn can fill said prescription. Find one that does fill said prescription and get AMAZING service (I LOVE WHEN CAPITALISM WORKS, people who want your business, like civilian or private pharmacy's go out of their way to get it!), get your prescription, but realize that you are charged the FULL AMOUNT and not your general $3 copay. Call insurance, get directed to contract company, call contract company, get told it was never filed, call pharmacy, they did file and gladly refile (with a smile I'm sure), call contract company, get told it was due to the pharmacy's improper entry into the system (you couldn't tell me that the first time?), call pharmacy and give them contract company's number and hope for the best.

Have a headache yet? No more minutes left on your cell?

Is this just something military families deal with or is it this difficult for those of you in the "real world"? And I did simplify the above events for your mental sanity.

$78.59!!!

Can we say underbudget! And not only that I managed to get a large "sub pack" of deli meat for $5 and split it so that we can have deli meat for the next three weeks! But my favorite deal BY FAR was the fact that the Comissary (military grocery store) had packs of 4 cans of  Green Giant veggies for $1.96 AND a coupon for the purchase of twelve you get $2.50 off! I did the math, and I got each can of veggies for LESS than THREE PENNIES!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this "extra" cash that we are "saving" at the end of the month. Part of me wants to start tucking it away for Baby needs...another part of me thinks I should put it back into our account,  and then there is Easter and Birthdays FAST approaching...decisions!

I'm also VERY EXCITED because my prize package from OrganizeItMom came in the mail...

See- EXCITED! And dorky! I'll post more on these GREAT products and how they are doing after I give them all a good go. What I can tell you though, is that when I went shopping with my new grocery list and menu (which come together), I recieved many comments about how ladies wanted one or would use it!

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

(This was from Kaelyn's Delivery, Ryan wanted a picture of me in pain while he was eating McDonalds....even though he tends to find humor in situations where he shouldn't, I still want him there)

Great news...Ryan should (there are no garuntees in the military) be here when I deliver baby three. This has been a HUGE concern of mine, but since his waiver is still sitting on some desk somewhere, his commander has decided to keep him in his new position until the jobs done, send him to some additional training school for a month, send him on local/short missions for another month, and then keep him sort of close to home until I deliver, with a deployment scheduled ASAP afterwards (maybe we'll have 4 weeks, if I get my wish). Even though he'll be stateside, he'll be gone a lot, but I am SO NOT complaining! We are also still wishing and hoping that his waiver gets pushed through and he comes off his current status!

In other news...

Anna's vocabulary is GROWING! She's starting to use two word sentences more regularly, recognizing colors and FINALLY enjoying swim lessons! She kicks and "scoops", jumps in the pool, goes under the water with eyes and mouth closed, and can blow bubbles! This is HUGE compared to the fact that the first two sessions were spent with me having to pry little nails out of my skin or fight to keep my swimsuit on due to her CLAWING.

Kaelyn's doing great with school work. Can write, recognize, and make the sounds of all her letters. She shows interest in learning how to read, but the desire to put forth the work isn't there yet, so I'm not pushing. She LOVES doing school work, and her favorite things involve math, cutting and drawing/writing. She's also very excited about the new baby.

I'm offically 1/2 done cooking the next Baby! Ryan finds out on Thursday what we are having, but I'd like for it to remain a surprise. The baby is the size of a cantalope!

This is the point where I started having SERIOUS problems with Anna...problems that resulted in me landing in the hospital for a week or more, having some intense drugs put into my system, and Ryan getting to leave his TDY (it's like a mini deployment) about 2 weeks earlier than planned (would have been sooner, but these things never are easy to make happen). So far, I have frequent contractions, but nothing that is regular or bothersome. Some days are worse than others, but I've managed to take it easy when needed and prevent any hospital stay or continual medication...here's hoping that the next couple of weeks are just as good!

28 Day Challenge- Laundry room for $2.76

From RAGS To RICHES on $2.76

Don't believe me? 

Just take a look!

 

This is my before. And let me just say, there are LOTS of things I wanted to do in this room from the VERY first moment I knew it was mine. Here is my dreamlist

1. Laundry does itself, from washing to putting away

2. I wanted a lower shelf and a bar installed (those slotted shelves are annoying for hanging!)

3. I would love to have a side shelf at my level on the left.

4. I want to put a piece of wood or something flat across my washer and dryer to make a "folding space"

5. Hooks for storage!

6. Super cute bins for storage

Now for reality...this isn't going to happen...because we don't have the money to throw at my space (my fault, I didn't budget accordingly). So, I decided to utilize what I had available. I shopped my house and this is the END result!

 

 

(The corner to the left of the door, my sock bag and tote bag for downstairs dirty/clean clothing)

 And the hook on the back of the door!

1. What do I want the purpose of my room or area to be?

             I wanted my laundry room to be functional (the prior owner was an WNBA worker and about two feet taller than me, so that shelf is soooo impractical!). I also wanted this place to make me happy. In our older home, we had about two feet of space between machines, you couldn't even open the dryer if the washer was open OR open the garage door or kitchen door if you were trying to do wash and that washroom made me HAPPY, I LOVED THAT PLACE--Why? It was organized, it was simple, it was pretty and it was FUNCTIONAL! I had craft supplies, cleaning supplies, wash supplies and NO ROOM, but it was organized! So, this room needed to be organized, functional, clean and have something bright and pretty!

2. What do I need in or near the room to serve that purpose?

A clear space to hang the girls clothes and our clothes, organize socks, easily reach my detergents and stainfighters, and a place to fold and sort clothes before they are put away. I also needed clearly labeled, but PRETTY and CHEAP containers.

3. What can I remove from the room?

Items that don't belong (the drying rack from the dryer that came with the house, storage bags, baby storage items, etc) or should have been put away a LONG time ago, like all those clothes, socks and linens!

4. What problems do I see with the room?

Shelf is too high, no place to fold clothes, no containers or clearly defined boundaries, no place or method to match socks, no place to hang my bag of socks waiting to be matched (you know, all the white ones that have to be matched when you are sitting down, not the ones that scream, "Hey, I have Dora on me, here is my match".) or my bag that I use to carry clean dishcloths downstairs and dirty ones upstairs at the end of the day.

5. What organizational tools might solve those problems?

A new shelf, a board of some sort to lay across my washer and dryer, a sock line, hooks, containers for bulk or multiple items and storage, a pole for hanging clothes on, basically my dream list

6. What habits need to change to solve the organizational problems?

I need to get better at putting clothes away after they are hung up, match my socks better, appreciate my machines better (I LOVE those machines, they make me happy and sing sweet songs instead of BLARING alarms when the load is finished. It's the little things in life.) use containers to sort my cleaning supplies

7. What kind of a budget do I have to work with right now for storage solutions?

Budget, try Zero dollars, it was a last minute project, and as much as I like the idea of adding paint, a shelf, etc. I really didn't plan well enough in advance. So this is what you can do just by shopping your house!

8. What kind of a timeline is necessary to organize the room? (28 days!)

Okay, I didn't know about this until much later than 28 days...I also got caught up in life...and this room has been the bane of my existence, and only led to me being further and further overwhelmed by life...sooo I spent a week catching up on laundry (yep you read that right, a week...but again I'm admiting that life has REALLY been getting to me). Although, can I just say that this room has provided me a small part of my life that I can attack with a plan, gain control, and keep control. After laundry was caught up, I organized and I'm excited to start keeping laundry under control!

9. What is my plan of action?

Do my laundry

Clean the room (I windex-ed/wiped down the machines, washed the floors, and cleaned out from BEHIND the machines)

Empty it

Find my storage solutions

Sort the items emptied

Put the ones that don't belong in their appropriate homes

Label the boxes in the appropriate containers

Use what I "shopped" for in my home and find my solutions to my problems!

10. Who can I ask to help me with this?  (working with a friend can be fun, productive and encouraging)

Kaelyn- She helped me with the containers

Ryan- Really encouraged me and gave the appropriate/needed response to the room!

Now, the problems I fixed in this space were done for pennies on the dollar. My storage bins started out as these:

 

Yep, those are old diaper boxes and wipes boxes! And there is TONS of room left on that shelf, and wrapping paper (from leftover Christmas Sales...although it doesn't look very festive) to make more of these boxes for future storage!  I have one for bulk items (extra detergent and stainfighters), Stain fighters and Bleach, and Needed baby storage items.

 

Kaelyn helped wrap and label!

I made the sock line using yarn and paper clips (didn't have any clothes pins) to help me match my socks more easily!

I wrapped the shelf that had been sitting under our sink to match, and installed it at my level so that I could easily reach my detergent and frequently used stain fighter.  These hooks cost 2.76 and were my ONLY purchase. The small blue/green bag is used to hold unmatched socks that would require concentration to match (white/black/etc) and the pink polka dotted one is carried downstairs each morning to put clean dish towels away and carry dirty ones upstairs.

 

The third hook is put on the back of the door to hold the drying rack for our dryer...it is RARELY used! And I cleared the tops of the machines off and covered in white shelf liner to provide a space to fold and sort! The girls clothing goes on the left of the sock line (which serves as a boundary) and our clothing goes on the right.

I really enjoyed this project and the feeling of accomplishment I have gained from it! I am so excited to repeat this in other areas of my home. Perhaps, I'll manage to have a beautifully organized home before our newest addition arrives in August!

If you want to see what other spaces have been attacked and organized...go to I'm an Organizing Junkie to view her 28 Day Challenge Participants

Georgia on my mind!

I am in my lovely home state of Georgia now, and hopefully I can get back into the habit of blogging, although I don't think I ever established a habit of blogging! All this traveling has taught me few things. The first of which, is that people don't think kindly of a woman and two small children traveling by themselves. I got a lot of comments along the lines of "That poor woman" or "Where is your husband?". After explaining that I am a military spouse and don't always have the luxury of a husband who can serve as pack mule, I got the look. The one that simultaneously says "I am so glad I am not you, but I am so glad that you can say that with a smile". Then they usually ask if they can help! Thank you, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for your help!

Just like with make-up, accessories and dessert, LESS IS MORE.
When you are the only adult traveling in a party of three, less is still too much. Kaelyn (3) is unreliable in her willingness to carry or roll her carry-on and depending on how long of a day, she could also be half asleep and crying as you make her walk from the plane to baggage claim (ie California trip). Anna (15 mos)  isn't at an age where I trust her to walk, so she is carried along with my purse (aka diaper bag) and our book bag. I've tried to find ways to streamline it, and on our return trip I think I am going to be investing in carabiners...I really want the one called a Mommy Hook.

 I went from four bags on our Cali trip, to two bags on our GA trip (not including Kaelyn's diaper bag). I think this gem of a hook would be great to hold my purse, Kaelyn's bag when she inevitable decides she's tired of carrying it, and our coats! That would free up a whole arm, and take me down to just one bag! I've also had the brainy idea of sewing on a ribbon loop on both ends of the girls blankets so that they can be carried this way as well. For those of you trying to figure out why I don't use a stroller, easy, when I'm the only one responsible for getting through security, a stroller is too much (I already take up 8 of those little trays, I can't be expected to get a stroller through as well). We also encourage/expect our girls to learn to walk with us in crowds from an early age.


Homeschooling and traveling takes a lot of PLANNING!

I don't generally plan our weekly lessons, we have an end goal set, but our daily goals are not planned. This makes it difficult to know exactly how much to bring and what items will need to be packed. I know, I know, I know, why not just stop homeschooling while I'm traveling? If we get out of the habit it would be difficult to reestablish it. That and our cousins are public school students who don't have the luxury of setting their own schedule, so we do homework with our cousins and no one is left out or distracted!

PRAYER, PATIENCE and a GOOD ATTITUDE!
I can't stress these enough. Kaelyn even hears these when she gets impatient with lines to get seated on the plane, "Kaelyn, when we fly we need to have lots of Patience and a very Good Attitude to have a great experience". I want my kids to understand that when life presents you with a tough or less than ideal situation (ie traveling alone with two small children), YOUR ATTITUDE affects whether you have a Good experience or a Bad experience, and you can choose to have a good one!

Our Turn to Dance

Our first dance as husband and wife on Nov. 19, 2005

This blog is intended to document the journey of our sweet family of four at our new home in New Jersey. Ryan is now in a new position where he will be gone all.the.time.

The name comes from a song that really spoke to me during our first deployment. It's Come Home Soon by SheDaisy.

I put away the groceries And I take my daily bread I dream of your arms around me As I tuck the kids in bed I don't know what you're doin' And I don't know where you are But I look up at that great big sky And I hope you're wishin' on that same bright star I wonder, I pray [Chorus:] And I sleep alone I cry alone And it's so hard livin' here on my own So please, come home soon (Come home soon) I know that we're together Even though we're far apart And I'll wear our lucky penny 'round my neck Pressed to my heart I wonder, I pray [Repeat Chorus] [Bridge:] I still imagine your touch It's beautiful missing something that much But sometimes love needs a fighting chance So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance I wonder, I pray [Second Chorus:] I sleep alone I cry alone Without you this house is not a home So please, come home soon [Third Chorus:] I walk alone I try alone I'll wait for you, don't want to die alone So please, come home soon Come home soon Come home soon

As much as I hate Ryan being gone, as difficult as it can be, and as painful as it is to explain to my children where daddy has gone and why, his job makes a difference. He does this for my family, for my children, and for our safety so that we can live without fear. All that said, when he leaves and while he is gone, I find myself waiting patiently (okay, so not so patiently) for Our Turn to Dance.